I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
