so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
