it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
