I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
