I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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