So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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