Who did Billy Mays play for?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
