Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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