Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize