i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
