At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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