...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize