OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
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Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
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We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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