So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
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Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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