i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
