too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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