RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
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I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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