no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
