ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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