Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
