thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
