I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
