Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
