was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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