I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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