Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
