yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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