I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
