Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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