Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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