dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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