Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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