It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
