i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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