White coat. Heels.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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