It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize