How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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