i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
