sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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