I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
