the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
