i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
