On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
