I must be too annoying 4 u.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
