I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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