It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
