your thong is hanging out like whoa
I heard we made out
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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