Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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