You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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