this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
