I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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