non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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