She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
