Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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