My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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