I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
