Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
